Retirement planning

Client wanted emails aimed at people in the pre-retirement phase, persuading them to visit the client's website and book a retirement strategy session. These two samples focus firstly on the recipients' apathy and then the terrors of negotiating the U.S. social security system.

Relief from Anxiety

Client asked me to perk up an existing email funnel designed to persuade anxiety sufferers to book a place on a programme for anxiety relief through homeopathy. This email was designed to defuse concerns over what a homeopathic consultation would involve.

Lawn Maintenance

This company wanted a Canadian who knew something about lawns to work on their emails. I told them I ticked neither box, yet they were still delighted with this test email that I drafted for them. Sadly, they then asked what I'd charge for 25 emails and I made the fatal mistake of demanding a fair day's pay for a fair day's work. Since when it's been not so much turf as tumbleweed. That'll teach me.

Executive coaching

An executive coach wanted his website overhauling , starting with the body copy on his homepage, which was a yawnfest of trite management-speak and a colour scheme screaming '1996'. I advised he find a designer for the latter. As for the words, I pitched him with a logical, plain-English sequence. Starting with the problems of inertia and procrastination that executives could come to regret in their later years, the page progresses through possible solutions and their flaws, before introducing the executive coach idea and its benefits of objective appraisal. Two marginal notes explain some of my thinking.

Video Script for Kickstarter Page

Clients had designed a device that frees and retrieves fishing lures that have become snagged on underwater vegetation or jammed between rocks. They asked me to come up with a video script. I had no input on the final edit and we've a way to go before AI voiceovers handle nuance as well as actual humans, but I think you get the gist of it... The file is too big to download here but you'll find it at https://youtu.be/3prT6m8Fudc

Office-in-the-Pub Promo

A pub/bar landlord was making his premises available during lockdown for enforced home-workers desperate for a change of scene. I pitched him this package of social media graphics and wording, starting with an idea for turning the 'Today's Specials' chalkboard seen outside many UK public houses into an ad.

Written on a whim

Sometimes, the idea for an ad occurs and I write it just to get it out of my system: 1) I do some proofreading on the side. Seemed daft not to have a stab at self-promotion. 2) Golf-mad son returns home, disconsolate after a bad round. "I've seen parts of that course I never expected to see," he moaned. An idea for a golf tuition ad suddenly occurred to me...